elgeeko’s blog

Hereafter referred to as “The Blond”, a once-familiar Ashley requested to add me as a friend on Facebook. Who was this woman?

Venturing into a dust-covered high school yearbook, the once treasured relic of a past that seems beyond the horizon of my willing recollection, I found The Blond. I remembered her as being married - no, wait, that was her Facebook relationship status. Were I to care, I suppose marriage would be an interesting informational tidbit. In fact, marital status was the only fact I knew about The Blond.

With what little optimism I could muster up,

While waiting for a response, the message from The Blond surfaced repressed memories of junior high. To drop the bomb: I was not popular in junior high. Shocking, to be sure. Moreover, my brother was older and hugely popular, an athlete and a rebel. One day, Mindy - the cutest girl in my grade - approached me in the hallways between class. She was accompanied by a fellow beauty, who could hardly constrain herself from hopping to and from the ground in excitement.

“Are you Jeff Jensen?” Mindy asks.

Confused by sudden attention, but ever eager for the prospects of being sought out by two beautiful girls, I enthusiastically replied “Yes, I am Jeff Jensen”. (The ‘C.’ was not added until college). At this moment, I was one with Denny Crane. I was the wherewithal, the Alpha and the Omega, the doer of cool stuff.

Bubbling with energy, Mindy exclaims “Wow… your brother B.J. is so hot!”

Which sets the stage for the return of The Blond:

*sigh* High school managed to not only to bite me during its temporal reign, but to invade the present.

And you know what? I like my profile picture. No one else can bridge the duality of the post-shaving expressionism of Macaulay Culkin and the champion of parted blond hair, David Spade.